Forty

Aloha and welcome to my first ever blog post!I am just going to warn you right now:I am NOT a writer.I am starting this blog to share my journey as a mother of four,living off the grid,working on creating a sustainable life.If you are looking for a smart,snarky,entertaining blog you may just want to move along .This is all new to me and at some point I will figure out how to set this up!

(me at about one year old)

Today is my fortieth Birth day .40.My fourth decade on this amazing beautiful planet.Is that even right?Fourth DECADE??F.O.R.T.Y.Let me tell you…I always thought I would embrace growing older!I would LOVE every wrinkle and gray hair.I would look at every stretch mark as a badge of honor.That was when I was twenty.Yeah.TWENTY!You know where I was for my twentieth Birthday??PARIS!Seeing the Grateful Dead!I went to Europe with about 30 bucks,a Eurorail Pass,and the faith that all would be well.But I digress.(get used to that.)

(me at 20 years old on tour with the Grateful Dead.)

Back to the present moment,here on the Island of Hawaii.Back to my home on the slopes of a 14,000 volcano,where the wind and sun provide me with the power to create my sustainable fiber products.To my family:my dear husband who is snoring next to me.To my three kids asleep in the house,and my oldest who sleeps on another Island for now.To this life that I prayed for,that I consciously manifested.My soul’s purpose…my role in Life.My Soul Role.

Twenty years ago I met one of the sweetest most generous people I have had the honor of knowing,on a bridge in Stockholm on my way to see the Grateful Dead.We instantly connected and have had many wild and wonderful journeys together in the last twenty years.

(sweetheart Caitlin back in 1991)

To make a long story short,she facilitated a trip to Maui to do a weekend Anusara Yoga Workshop with John Friend.Despite my fears of leaving my family for the first time,my fear of doing Yoga when I have been out of practice for many many years,she encouraged me to do something meaningful and sacred for my own soul.  We were to do a 2 hour yoga class in the morning and then in the afternoon,we had the honor of sharing Satsang with John Friend & Ram Dass.THE Ram Dass!!It had been nearly twenty years since reading “Be Here Now” had forever changed my perception of life,and FORTY(yes,40!!!)years since Be Here Now was first published.The timing of all these events was very significant to me.Ram Dass is still an incredible speaker despite his stroke that left him unable to move most of one side of his body.I was REALLY hurting from the two hours of yoga and my body was a distraction but you could just feel this….energy of deep love and spirit radiating from him.

At one point in he was speaking about our roles in life and he sued the term”soul role” and it was like a light bulb went off over my head! I have been trying to come up with a new name for my business for a LONG time that would somehow convey the reason why I create sustainable fiber products.When Ram Dass said those two simple words “Soul Role” I knew that was what I had been looking for.I am never going to get rich by handcrafting organic clothing,but to me it is a material way to put my intentions out to the Universe.It is a prayer that by doing this small thing I can help be a part of bringing positive change in the world.By supporting organic textile production I am saying “this is important!This beautiful Mother Earth provides us with everything we need to live and I for one,want to treat her with respect and love.”

We have many roles to play in this life:child,parent,sibling,teacher,yogi,artist…you name it.I think ultimately the most important role for me in this Cosmic Play is unconditional lover.That’s it.

So I invite you to share in this journey with me.What is YOUR Soul Role??